He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
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