they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
