i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
