No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
