I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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