Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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