Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
