I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
