I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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