WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
