I'm so fucking centered right now
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
