I accidentally had phone sex last night
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Randomize
