what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
