please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
