Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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