1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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