Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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