Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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