I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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