It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize