My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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