yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
