You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Randomize
