Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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