Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
