the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
