I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
