after a month anything with tits is on the radar
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Everclear isn't food dammit
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
A bitchslap is in order.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
