you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin