I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.