ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
