I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
