some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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