I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
