we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
