I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
