Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
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