We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize