it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
