Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
