How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
As shirtless as possible
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
