It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
