OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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