yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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