ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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