The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
