In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
