Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
My vagina just recognized that song.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
