She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life