youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
My legs feel like baby dolphins
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.