even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize