How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
