Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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