my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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