i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
