Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
