I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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