I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
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I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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