Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
