now i know why i became what i already was.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
